This is the third in a series of articles about sermons called “The Heretic’s Life of Controversy”  from Rev. John A. Taylor, who served us as lead minister from 1964-1968. He delivered these lectures not only to us on Sunday mornings but to the wider Champaign-Urbana community through radio programs on WILL. He tied these five pulpit addresses to the ages of man, which he defined as Birth, Growing Up, Marriage, Growing Old, and Death.

Today we’re going to look at marriage, which he thinks is generally useful, saying that “This kind of sexually oriented ‘buddy system’ has been beneficial to mankind.” Pretty thin praise, and a topic that brings out heaping helpings of Rev. Taylor’s sarcasm and cynicism. He says that because the wife and husband know each other so well, they live in a “balance of terror,” unable to mask the anxieties, emotional outburst, and exhaustion that marriage brings. 

As to the heresy concerning marriage, it is “that marriage is a union between two persons and the decision regarding whom one is to marry is strictly the individual’s and should not be dictated by society.” After briefly mentioning that some religions make it difficult for a person to marry outside their faith, he moves on to marriages between “Negroes and Caucasians.” I expected that the sermon would focus there, on inter-racial marriage, but was a bit sad as I read on and found no mention of same-sex marriage. Too soon, I guess. 

So I was surprised when, after just a couple of paragraphs on “the human family is one family,” I found Rev. Taylor talking about what people do in the privacy of their own homes. Lots of comments about puritanical, self-righteous, and inquisitive noses that should be kept out of other people’s business. My favorite line of this section: “So long as the married couple do not become a public nuisance, that which they find mutually agreeable belongs to their protected realm of privacy.” 

After discussing inter-racial marriage and (possibly) spicy behaviors, Rev. Taylor moved on to adultery, explaining that adultery may not be condoned by all, but it can be understood. At the time of his writing, “in some states only adultery is an adequate basis for divorce, even though the woman be married to a cad, a crook, or a fool; so long as he does not commit adultery there is no grounds for separation.” 

To help his listeners understand adultery, he presented three reasons for it: 1) Marriage is hard and filled with confrontations. “It is better to have one escape than the day-in and day-out struggle for survival in the throes of a marriage.” 2) “Men and women forget that one of the reasons they are together is because of the sexual attraction and yearning for sexual satisfaction and fulfillment. Passion has grown stale and it is only natural that the marriage partner will hunt for it in places outside the home.” 3) Some marriages thrive on it. “There are some people to whom marriage is the only exciting thing in their lives. Their jobs, children, home, etc., are essentially boring, but their marriages, as they are threatened by extra-marital affairs, are exciting.”